SECTION 4 : PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY & DECISION MAKING

If parental responsibility will be shared, you have the option to simply choose "Shared Parental Responsibility".

Essential Insights

This leaves one parent susceptible to resistance from the other parent without any protection or recourse. Conceptually, shared parental responsibility sounds fair and equitable. However, if you're getting divorced or ending your relationship, it means that there may have been breakdowns in communication and/or decision making.

When parents think about shared parental responsibility, they often overlook the fact that in the event of a disagreement, there is no recourse except as documented in Section 15 - Disputes or Conflict Resolution. The Florida Supreme Court Approved Family Law Form 12.995(a), Parenting Plan, has the following statement:

"Parents shall attempt to cooperatively resolve any disputes which may arise over the terms of the Parenting Plan. The parents may wish to use mediation or other dispute resolution methods and assistance, such as Parenting Coordinators and Parenting Counselors, before filing a court action."

Simply stated, if you do not use foresight, you'll be left to deal with Mediators, Parenting Coordinators, or Parenting Counselors, all of whom charge hundreds of dollars per hour. Not to mention the expense of dealing with your attorney and the legal process (i.e., filing a motion, hiring an expert witness, attending a deposition, or going to court) if the item remains unresolved, potentially costing thousands of dollars. 

The second option is "Shared Parental Responsibility with Decision Making Authority". This acknowledges that it is in the best interests of the child(ren) that the parents confer and attempt to agree on the major decisions involving the child(ren). However, If the parents are unable to agree, then the authority for making major decisions (i.e., Academic, Health Care, etc) regarding the child(ren) can be itemized. 

The Florida Supreme Court Approved Family Law Form 12.995(a), Parenting Plan, has the following categories:

Education / Academic Decisions (Parent __________)

Non-Emergency Health Care (Parent __________)

Other (Specify) (Parent __________)

Essential Insights

Consider that shared parental responsibility with decision making authority is the same as shared parental responsibility, except the former provides for "decision making authority" in the event of a disagreement. While all decisions will seem important, it may help to allow one parent to have decision making authority for non-emergency health care while allowing the other parent to have decision making authority for dental. Remember, decision making authority is only applicable if the parents cannot make a joint decision.

The third option is "Sole Parental Responsibility". This provides one parent with the sole authority to make major decisions for the  child(ren). This option may be valid in certain circumstances.

The Florida Supreme Court Approved Family Law Form 12.995(a), Parenting Plan, has the following option:

"It is in the best interests of the child(ren) that Parent {name or designation} shall have sole authority to make major decisions for the  child(ren). It is detrimental to the child(ren) to have shared parental responsibility. "

The Florida Supreme Court Approved Family Law Form 12.995(a), Parenting Plan, has the following statement:

"Unless otherwise specified in your Parenting Plan, each parent shall make decisions regarding day-to-day care and control of each child while the child is with that parent. Regardless of the allocation of decision making in the parenting plan, either parent may make emergency decisions affecting the health or safety of the child(ren) when the child is residing with that parent. A parent who makes an emergency decision shall share the decision with the other parent as soon as reasonably possible."

Essential Insights

Consider defining the term "emergency". For example, an emergency is a situation in which the health or wellbeing of the child(ren) is in imminent danger.

Consider adding a statement to this section that provides for the notification by one parent to the other in the event of any illness or accident or other circumstance affecting the child(ren)'s health and welfare.

Research shows that extra-curricular activities help kids develop the social skills that they will need as adults, and they provide opportunities for leadership, cooperation, and peer interaction. While this is great for children, it represents several challenges for co-parents.

This subsection outlines the registration, transportation, and costs associated with extra-curricular activities (i.e., clubs and athletics). 

The Florida Supreme Court Approved Family Law Form 12.995(a), Parenting Plan, has the following options and designations:

(a) Either parent may register the child(ren) and allow them to participate in the activity of the child(ren)’s choice. 

Essential Insights

While this sounds fair in theory, it represents a number of obstacles in practice. What would happen if one parent registered the child(ren) in an extra-curricular activity that had practices and/or games on the same days as an extra-curricular activity registered by the other parent? We suggest avoiding a blanket statement allowing either parent to register the child(ren) and allowing them to participate in the activity without having a set of rules for registering. 

(b) The parents must mutually agree to all extra-curricular activities. 

Essential Insights

While this sounds fair in theory, it represents a number of obstacles in practice. What would happen if one parent objected to the registration of every extra-curricular activity and made the argument that the Parenting Plan stated that both parents must mutually agree? We suggest adding a statement that the parents may not unreasonably object to an extra-curricular activity. In the event of a conflict or dispute over extra-curricular activities, see section S15 DISPUTES. 

(c) The parent with the minor child(ren) shall transport the minor child(ren) to and/or from all mutually agreed upon extra-curricular activities, providing all necessary uniforms and equipment within the parent’s possession. 

Essential Insights

Consider that the extra-curricular activity may begin during the time-sharing of one parent and end on the time-sharing of another parent. This would call for each parent performing one leg of the transportation. When registering the child(ren) in extra-curricular activities, consider the start and end times for practices and games. Additionally, consider that the days of the week may change throughout the season.

(d) The costs of the extra-curricular activities shall be paid by:

Parent ____________________%

Parent ____________________%

Essential Insights

The costs of the extra-curricular activities typically coincide with the percent of financial responsibility as determined by the Child Support Guidelines Worksheet. For example, if Parent "A" has 70% financial responsibility and Parent "B" has 30% financial responsibility, then the extra-curricular activities would be split 70% / 30%.

(e) The uniforms and equipment required for the extra-curricular activities shall be paid by:

Parent ____________________%

Parent ____________________%

Essential Insights

The costs of the extra-curricular activities typically coincide with the percent of financial responsibility as determined by the Child Support Guidelines Worksheet. For example, if Parent "A" has 70% financial responsibility and Parent "B" has 30% financial responsibility, then the extra-curricular activities would be split 70% / 30%.

(f) Other

Essential Insights

Two of the most common challenges expressed by parents regarding extra-curricular activities are (1) location and (2) timing of selection. 

Location refers to the place where the extra-curricular will occur. When parents live close to one another, this doesn't represent a problem. However, if the parents live 20 miles apart, it's common for each parent to want the location close to their house to avoid unnecessary driving. Be mindful of our reference to FLORIDA STATUTE 61.13001, PARENTAL RELOCATION WITH A CHILD, as well as our deep dive into section S14 RELOCATION.

Timing of selection refers to the combination of selecting the extra-curricular activity and the timing of the extra-curricular activity. Timing does not apply to the clock (i.e., 5:00 PM), but rather to the point in the year and the duration of the activity. For example, both parents may want their child to play soccer, but one parent wants soccer in the fall while the other parent wants soccer in the spring. Duration is important because some extra-curricular activities last only a few weeks (i.e., an after-school club), while dance might last the entire school year. We encourage you to implement an alternating year approach to setting extra-curricular activities, giving Parent "A" the decision-making authority in even years and Parent "B" the decision-making authority in odd years. Based upon our research, extra-curricular activities is one of the most confrontation topics.